So, what about shredding the constitution? If we don’t, those pesky weapons of mass destruction might get us. If we don’t invade (fill in country name here), those WMDs will be unleashed. If you vote for my opponent, surely WMDs will fall on your fat head faster than lightning can strike. Weapons of Mass Destruction are everywhere.

The government constantly bombards the public with references, implied stories, and imagined threats. Vice President Dick Cheney’s staff went so far as to start an Office of Special Projects inside the Pentagon, just to find its very own weapons of mass destruction. They wanted those WMDs so much that, when they couldn’t find any, they pretended that they had them anyway. Proudly, they told everyone!

The Bush administration has pledged to go anywhere and everywhere to discover weapons of mass destruction and the terrorists who wield them.

Indeed, the Bush administration has pledged billions of dollars and as many man hours as it will take to find these WMDs. All members of Bush’s staff have looked everywhere that they could imagine, even the bottom of a Baltimore bog. Despite finding nothing but a rusted bicycle and an illegal handgun, they kept looking. The Bush administration looked in Africa, Egypt, Syria, North Korea (ok, they found some in North Korea, but there was no oil so that didn’t count), Afghanistan, Pakistan and India. (Again, they found some in India and Pakistan, but those countries might fight back.) They didn’t look in Saudi Arabia because the royal family was away at a Cairo disco.

They didn’t look in Israel because… Well, because. That’s why.

They tried hard to look for them in Iraq, but they found nothing. This is ironic because all they had to do was ask any of George W. Bush’s corporate friends, and they could have turned over the receipts.

Then, something terrible happened! There was an accident. Weapons of Mass Destruction were discovered. But they were not sitting where they were supposed to be! And there were terrorists as well. But they were not the terrorists that the Bush administration wanted the folks in the homeland to fear. These terrorists were home grown and were living right here in the good’ ole USA. Hailing from New Hampshire to New Jersey to the tiny town of Noonday, Texas, just south of the now-household name of Tyler, Texas, the terrorists weren’t the preferred brand of radical, bloodthirsty Islamic Jihad-waging, AK 47-brandishing, Koran-thumping mujahadeen terrorists that all red-blooded Americans are obligated to hate.

They were overweight, middle-aged Americans. But, nonetheless, they were armed to the teeth.

And we did mention that it was an accident. It seems that a fellow named William Krar, a 62-year old right wing extremist, sent a package of false identification cards for the United Nations and the U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency. These fakes were destined for Edward Feltus of New Jersey. The package was instead sent to the home of a Staten Island man, who called the police. Six months after the mail from Texas was opened, the FBI confronted Feltus. He revealed himself to be a member of the New Jersey militia and a 29-year employee of the Division of Social Services (recently as a supervisor in the income maintenance department). The feds were soon on the trail that led to Vermont and then back to Texas.

A raid on a storage facility that Krar rented revealed a militant’s stockpile. There was the required antigovernment and neo-nazi literature, of course. And there were illegal weapons galore. These included more than 100 explosives, some converted into suitcase-type bombs. Krar also owned more than 500,000 rounds of ammunition and a fully functional sodium cyanide bomb with the capacity to kill hundreds.

But no one outside of the local jurisdiction involved has bothered to report it. The local Texas papers, as well as some New Jersey dailies, picked up the story. The New York Times carried a piece last week when Krar and company were sentenced in U.S. District Court in Tyler.

It would seem that the Department of Justice is not taking this threat seriously. Or it doesn’t afford this incident the propaganda value of say, the locally grown Lackawanna six. These guys weren’t armed to the teeth, but that didn’t stop the media hordes from invading Buffalo and setting up shop in Niagara Square. Both Attorney General John Ashcroft and Bush were proud to note the bust of the notorious Lackawanna soccer player-coaches.

Bu there was no press conference in Tyler, Texas.

The federal government spends well more than $40 billion a year to root out the bad guys. But some of the better-armed villains get the least attention.

(Editor’s note: sources for this article include The New York Times, the Asbury Park Press and the CBS news affiliate at Tyler, Texas, among others.) By Grady Hawkins

The phrase “weapons of mass destruction” has been ingrained into the American public’s psyche. It has been used, misused, abused, and misappropriated. The Pavlov dog-like American public reaction is to sit up and salivate at every mention of this propaganda term, now referred to as “WMD” in an ominous tone. Americans have become very afraid. WMDs are now on everyone’s mind. They are now blamed for every ill on the planet. When any government body, institution, or official wants anything of less than transparent intention executed, he, she, or it utters WMD, and it gets accomplished. WMD works in much the same way as the tried and true dangerous duo of the past: “communism” and “it’s for the children.” Just say WMD, and you will get what you want when you want it.